2009: Best Year Ever! ...?

So I figure OKLAHOMA'S BLIZZARD 2009 is a good enough time to make my return to bloglife. And oddly enough, this just reaffirms my point. 2009 has been the best year of my life. The best.
Cody proposed. On Friday the 13th. Of February, the day before Valentine's Day.
In related news, we have an amazing location, I have the perfect dress, and my maids are the best girls around.
Cody has worked extremely hard and, with a little bit of luck, has been extremely fortunate.
And I have been so lucky to be able to share in his good fortune. And I can't really handle that of course.
I went to South America this summer. It was incredible beyond words. Other than the ones in these archives. Yeeah.
Cody and I celebrated our five year anniversary. Which is pretty inconceivable.
We also hit up San Diego and Sea World and it was fantastical.
Marie came to live with us and ride on our shoulders and yell at us and she's wonderful.
By chance, I got an amazing job that is actually relevant and interesting.
By the grace of baby cheeses I made all A's for the first time in my college career.
It snowed! Really snowed!
And so many more things that have made this year one for the record books.

That being said, this year kind of sucked.
Along with getting engaged comes so. much. complication. And so many questions. And so much judgement. And such a mess. And it totally took me off guard.
Cody's sweet darling Kitty Girl, his partner in crime for the last 15-some years, is no longer with us. And it's heartbreaking.
And so many more losses along the way.
And the heartbreak of friends. And the unexpected unpleasantries and oddities of life.

And I'd rather not dwell on these parts. Because that's not the point.

The point is, I don't really know that this year is so much better than others. On the whole, the plusses and minuses pretty much cancel each other out. The thing is, I think I'm figuring out how to be okay with that. I'm not saying I have it figured out, or that I know the secret to eternal happiness. I'm not actually sure how or when it happened. But I am letting the happy take over. And I like it!

I'm so incredibly lucky. It's strange to just get someone else's rewards by osmosis. I'm so happy for Cody. He really does deserve all the goodness that is happening to him. He's worked hard for it. However, I have not, but because I'm here, I get to enjoy them. And generally I don't know how to deal with that. And I know I don't deserve it. But it's still happening. So I'm going to do my best to earn it. And I'm not always going to. But I am trying.

Also, just to clarify, I am fully aware that I am completely obsessed with my ring. And it's obnoxious. But it's beautiful, and it means so much to me. Someone asked me if it's the ring I would have picked for myself. (I told Cody it was 100% up to him.) The answer: no. It's better. Cody is better to me than I am to myself. Which makes me realize it's okay to be nice to myself. And I think that's a good thing. And that's why I'm obsessed with my ring. And that's also why I'm not letting myself buy my wedding on clearance. I don't intend to have a platinum wedding, but I can do more than plastic. I can, and I should, and I am.

When it comes to getting married at 21 (gasp!) before I graduate (gasp!) and all the other scandalous things, after the first few comments making me feel bad and guilty, I decided to stop apologizing for doing what I fully believe to be the right thing. And then I forgot about that. But now I remembered! I know the commenters are largely looking out for my best interests, and I appreciate that. And it does make me sad when I get a concern before a congrats. But I am not stupid. I am me. And I know what's best for me more than anyone else.

In all, I've certainly grown up this year. In the best ways possible. And I certainly have a lot more growing up to do. And I know that I am on the path to doing so. This is the beginning of the rest of my life. And I have no idea what's coming next. But it's going to be great.

Thanks for everything 2009.