Don't deconstruct

Well I've just been all over the place today. I couldn't even decide on a picture to use for my 365 Project. Mostly because I was trying to replace the picture I didn't take. Which is rather impossible and unsatisfying. Good thing I have a blog to share my indecision with - this was my other option

Neither of picture really did what I wanted, but I am determined to stick with this one-a-day thing.

I feel like I'm in the middle of everything, which for me is terrible. I like things to be finished, over, done with, a fond memory. Or at least approaching that.

I'm at the end of my school-year job, which I have loved. I wish I could devote more time to it, because we're doing some pretty cool things. Like remaking a dinosaur. (PS. Did you know the Brontosaurus is no longer called that?? It's now an Apatosaurus. Which I guess is cool too.) It's a small place, just a handful of people working right down the street from campus. And I love that. And some times I don't. But today I do, because my co-workers got me a wonderful wedding present. Even after a threatened to sue them. But that's another story...

I'm getting ready to start my summer internship. I think. There's a ton of paperwork to get there, and I just have that general feeling of uncertainty that comes with leaving the familiar and stepping into uncharted waters. But I've loved every place I've worked at, to one degree or another, and I'm terribly, terribly excited to do some more engineering related things. I love my major, and I want to take it out into the real world and play.

I'm just over three weeks away from the wedding. GULP. I'm really excited for the day of. Like, really really. And I'm really excited for the week after and swimming and hiking and eating and playing as Mrs. Adams. But everything between now and then terrifies me ever so slightly. I know I'll get everything done and ready, especially because I have such wonderful help from my wonderful girls. Oh, and my fiancé.

I'm still finishing the outprocessing of school. My poor inboxes are overflowing with emails I needed to save for the semester and coupons I never used. (I know, I know, I have a problem.) Then in the real world, my poor office is overflowing with notes and references and books and supplies and materials that has to be sorted through and categorized - keep, trash, sell, etc.

I just feel like nothing's done, and everything needs attention. Which is not possible to give all at once, so I freak out. But I just need to get started. Tomorrow.

Boo!

I promise I'm not a ghost.

So for my 8 millionth restart of this blog, I'm starting The 365 Project. Because I think it's cool.

And because I'm making myself realize that if all goes as planned, this next year will be my last in Oklahoma for a while. And I want to make the most of it. Somehow I made it through my Junior year. Just barely. So Senior year should be interesting.

And because in 26 (almost 25) short days, I'll be a Mrs. and everything will change. Actually, I'm pretty sure that's not true. But it's a milestone, and I'm going to enjoy it tremendously. Of course, up until then, I'll be freaking out. Tremendously.

So here it is folks, Day 1 of my 365.

2009: Best Year Ever! ...?

So I figure OKLAHOMA'S BLIZZARD 2009 is a good enough time to make my return to bloglife. And oddly enough, this just reaffirms my point. 2009 has been the best year of my life. The best.
Cody proposed. On Friday the 13th. Of February, the day before Valentine's Day.
In related news, we have an amazing location, I have the perfect dress, and my maids are the best girls around.
Cody has worked extremely hard and, with a little bit of luck, has been extremely fortunate.
And I have been so lucky to be able to share in his good fortune. And I can't really handle that of course.
I went to South America this summer. It was incredible beyond words. Other than the ones in these archives. Yeeah.
Cody and I celebrated our five year anniversary. Which is pretty inconceivable.
We also hit up San Diego and Sea World and it was fantastical.
Marie came to live with us and ride on our shoulders and yell at us and she's wonderful.
By chance, I got an amazing job that is actually relevant and interesting.
By the grace of baby cheeses I made all A's for the first time in my college career.
It snowed! Really snowed!
And so many more things that have made this year one for the record books.

That being said, this year kind of sucked.
Along with getting engaged comes so. much. complication. And so many questions. And so much judgement. And such a mess. And it totally took me off guard.
Cody's sweet darling Kitty Girl, his partner in crime for the last 15-some years, is no longer with us. And it's heartbreaking.
And so many more losses along the way.
And the heartbreak of friends. And the unexpected unpleasantries and oddities of life.

And I'd rather not dwell on these parts. Because that's not the point.

The point is, I don't really know that this year is so much better than others. On the whole, the plusses and minuses pretty much cancel each other out. The thing is, I think I'm figuring out how to be okay with that. I'm not saying I have it figured out, or that I know the secret to eternal happiness. I'm not actually sure how or when it happened. But I am letting the happy take over. And I like it!

I'm so incredibly lucky. It's strange to just get someone else's rewards by osmosis. I'm so happy for Cody. He really does deserve all the goodness that is happening to him. He's worked hard for it. However, I have not, but because I'm here, I get to enjoy them. And generally I don't know how to deal with that. And I know I don't deserve it. But it's still happening. So I'm going to do my best to earn it. And I'm not always going to. But I am trying.

Also, just to clarify, I am fully aware that I am completely obsessed with my ring. And it's obnoxious. But it's beautiful, and it means so much to me. Someone asked me if it's the ring I would have picked for myself. (I told Cody it was 100% up to him.) The answer: no. It's better. Cody is better to me than I am to myself. Which makes me realize it's okay to be nice to myself. And I think that's a good thing. And that's why I'm obsessed with my ring. And that's also why I'm not letting myself buy my wedding on clearance. I don't intend to have a platinum wedding, but I can do more than plastic. I can, and I should, and I am.

When it comes to getting married at 21 (gasp!) before I graduate (gasp!) and all the other scandalous things, after the first few comments making me feel bad and guilty, I decided to stop apologizing for doing what I fully believe to be the right thing. And then I forgot about that. But now I remembered! I know the commenters are largely looking out for my best interests, and I appreciate that. And it does make me sad when I get a concern before a congrats. But I am not stupid. I am me. And I know what's best for me more than anyone else.

In all, I've certainly grown up this year. In the best ways possible. And I certainly have a lot more growing up to do. And I know that I am on the path to doing so. This is the beginning of the rest of my life. And I have no idea what's coming next. But it's going to be great.

Thanks for everything 2009.

Hiatus (in case you couldn't tell)

Until I get that USB that downloads and translates your thoughts.

And by get, I mean make.

So many thoughts, so little time.

South America was wonderful. Absolutely Wonderful.

Current exploits: School, and not nearly enough weddinging. Which both induce tremendous amounts of panic. And allow for little writing time. But, some day, I will get back here.

Alive and well in Cusco

¡Hola amigos!

Perhaps I might have time for a real update now... We shall see. I wrote my last entries so hurriedly, I didn't realize how similar they were. Hope you don't mind the repetition. I'll try to mix it up.

I have officially been in Peru for a week, and it has been absolutely amazing, despite the frequent mishaps along the way. And be prepared, this may take a while.

We spent the first two days in Lima, getting to know our host family and the PUCP aka "la Católica" (The Pontificate Catholic University of Peru). My wonderful roommate in Lima is Dana, from San Diego, and we get along quite well. Our family has two small children who are pretty shy, but tremendously cute. Our "dad" Andres is great - very fluent in English, but we are able to speak almost entirely in Spanish, an unexpected surprise. I know I always underestimated my Spanish abilities, and I feel so much more comfortable now.

Among the fun new things in Peru is the lack of potable water, which affects way more than you initially realize - toothbrushing, fresh veggies (a terrible problem for me), not refilling water bottles! I'm assuming this stems from plumbing problems in general, because along the same vein toilet paper is not to be flushed... Definitely a weird habit to get into. One dangerous thing is the exchange rate (3:1) - many purchases have been justified with this, possible some of mine... : ) I also get slightly stressed about the traffic chaos - pedestrians are essentially ignored and lanes/signals are pretty much pointless. I get nervous enough in the US! Here we have a lovely example of Lima rush hour:

As for the university, it is eerily like OU, in ways I can't quite define. The rooms, the caf, the students, all seem perfectly reminiscent of the good ol' University of Oklahoma. Lunch is always interesting - we are set up on a meal plan where we have two main options, one dessert and one drink. The entree is almost always accompanied by rice, so I'm good.

Food in general has been quite good. My first dinner with my host family (which they graciously prepared even though dinner isn't really a Peruvian/Latin thing) was rice, potatoes, with pancakes for dessert. I was in heaven. I scarfed down my fish-burger without realizing what it was, probably for the best since I thought I hated fish... Lima's right on the coast, so maybe I like fresh fish?!

On Friday, after landing in Cusco we immediately went into the valley to acclimate to the altitude. Cusco is in the mountains, and much higher than any of us are used to. We stayed in Ollantaytambo the first night, after visiting our first Inca ruins in Pisac. That was our first day of major hiking, followed by many, many, many more. Also, this was our first day of encountering the peddlers that line the roads in the "touristy" areas. We were amazed by the beautiful things they showed us; little did we know how numb we would become to the sales pitches in just a few short days. I can't quite describe the majesty of the Inca buildings in this beautiful setting, but suffice to say this is when I started averaging 200 pictures a day. I can't help it when every view is some new and interesting variation of this:

Saturday we went to textile group in the village of Patacancha (after a breakfast of pancakes and caramel sauce) that is trying to preserve the traditional methods. Their weavings were amazing, and of course we all took advantage of the opportunity to buy, yet again. Our guide, Kennedy, was amazing - she's 25 and started the Awamaki group when the one she started volunteering with fell apart. They do amazing work, and I have to give them a plug after seeing all they do. We followed that up with some more ruins in Ollantaytambo and shopping (of course).

Unfortunately that night, somewhere between dinner and the train my money pouch/wallet left my side... With my driver's license, OU ID, debit card (with no ATM fees, ideal for use out of the US), international student ID, and about $50. Not a good time. Calls were made to the bus we took and restaurant we ate at, but to no avail. I had this plan see, where I would keep 90% of my important stuff in one place that I would be super careful with... and that was it. Oh well. I was able to contact my lovely support team at home to cancel the lost card and warn my bank that I would be using my backup in South America. I definitely didn't plan tremendously well, but it's working out, with much help from my mom and Cody!

I couldn't be upset for too long, because A) we were getting up at 4am the next day, B) to go to Machu Picchu! By coincidence, we went on the winter solstice, one of the most important days for the Inca, which they incorporated into their buildings. There was an option for climbing the mountain Wayna Picchu, but it is limited to only 200 tourists in the morning, and I thought I would be too late - though apparently there were still plenty of tickets left. Instead I got to watch the clouds roll in and out of the mountains and see the sun rise and hit the different places around the city. It was absolutely beautiful, and I made friends with many animals - llamas, lizards, and a squirrel/chincilla-type rodent. I spent about 10 minutes petting a baby llama. So fun. We then headed back to Cusco, with a stop at another textile group at Chinchero - surprisingly different from the Patacancha. It was amazing to see the differences in the two regions, despite the fact they were both using natural, traditional materials.

And we have been in Cusco ever since. The city is a strange mix of the early Inca and pre-Inca buildings and remnants, with the Spanish colonial overlay. We saw Saqsayhuaman, the fortress area just outside of Cusco, and many Spanish churches built on top of Inca temples. The Inca work is amazing, there are walls built of huge stones cut to fit together with absolutely no mortar or joining material. They clearly knew what they were doing, since their work withstood the many earthquakes recorded in Peru's history, while the churches built on top by the Spanish did not fare so well.

There is so much more to say, but most importantly, I would like to mention the weather - in the mountains, it goes from 70 to near freezing quite soon after the sun goes down... Which was quite a while ago... And most places don't have central heat... Including our hotel... Which has another fun story, perhaps I can share tomorrow while waiting for the plane back to Lima! Regardless, I am cold, and going to take a nap. No comment from the peanut gallery on the time of this post - there were extenuating circumstances...

Although I guess I have one more bit. I miss camp. Camp Cimarron, for those who don't know. I promise this is connected to Peru. All the hiking reminded me of the days of climbing down to the river, following trails that suddenly ended, and the wonderful peace of being in nature. In the city, I have been adamant about using the buddy system, to the point where my classmates think I'm ridiculous. But really, that comes from camp too - it's always better to have someone around, just in case. For some reason guys think it's okay to walk around this foreign city alone, without really sharing their destination. Call me a crazy feminist, but I just don't believe that. The activities, the communal meals - so many reminders of camp. Not to mention getting to tell people the story of how Cody and I met : ) I love making new friends!

In conclusion, I am having the time of my life. There is some missing setting in, but I know that coming back home will be such an incredibly happy experience, and I wouldn't trade this for the world.